Thursday, February 24, 2011

YES! get lost

"The easiest way you can tell yourself what you're worth, is by what you say 'yes' to. The easiest way you can tell your body what it's worth, is by what you put into it."
You might remember last week after doing that interview over here, I mentioned that I would dedicate one day a week to celebrating something that I'm saying yes's to:

Getting lost....ALONE!
Okay, don't freak out. Breathe...

I'm not talking all extreme style like Emile Hersch in "Into the Wild". I'm talking about finding something that envelops you, something that you can dive into without consideration for anyone else.

{note reading a book alone in a bath = good, reading a book entitled "help your husband get ahead = not so good"}
So to answer your question, no Friday and Saturday nights binge drinking don't count and neither does Sunday's food feast after you realize he never asked for your number {it's okay, we've aaaall been there haha}. Nor does copious amounts of The Real Housewives franchise or being alone in the car for 5 mins while you run yourself ragged for friends and family. I'm talking about something that you can metaphysically plug yourself into. Just. For. You.

Here's some of my guidelines:

  • It's something you should be doing entirely for yourself that's egoless. If you're waiting for someone else's approval , a pat on the back or their direct input then that's not what I'm talking about.
  • In an ideal world you need to do it a couple of times a week and here's the kicker, not feel guilty about it!
  • It should feel like you're completely alone even if you're in a room filled with 100's of people.

For me this looks like:

  • Mediatation
  • Dancing alone like a psycho in my living room {I know, I apologise downstairs neighbor if you're reading this}
  • Yoga
  • Running/walking
  • Cooking myself dinner and eating it alone with no TV

See, here's my theory.  When you're alone and not only are you okay with being alone, but you actually enjoy your own company, there's a stillness that comes from wholeheartedly embracing who you are as an individual.  The strength that comes from such stillness infiltrates every aspect of your life.  People resist being alone all the time and sometimes without even knowing it, it's their greatest fear. I get it, I do. We can hide behind the "I'm just more of a people person", "I'm too busy",  but that unconsciousness can get you into a whole lot of trouble when you say yes to people and situations to avoid confronting that fear.  It might feel a little strange at first but I promise you after a while, it will become extremely liberating.
So, chickadees I ask you, when's the last time you were alone and still with yourself? More importantly what are you waiting for? Take yourself on a date! Not only are you a really really good time, you really are fantastic company... but you don't need me to tell you that, go find out for yourself!

xo chirps


  1. I totally agree with you! It sounds silly but I have little dates with myself :D then I just walk around in town and afterwards I am always feeling so relaxed!

  2. I caught myself on a date with me shooting up 14 floors in an empty elevator.

    Great post!

  3. What amazing advice! I am embarrassed to admit that doing the dishes and cleaning actually feels like meditation to me-everything is quiet, and I really need the clean to feel calm.

    But I should probably do something just a bit more indulgent...

  4. I love this post! This post is my anthem. I liek that you pointed out having the tv on too.. becuase its habit for so many of my friends to keep theirs on while they sleep even.. its odd to me.?.
    However, good point. I have not taken myself out for a date in a while.. been busy trying to get dates.. then end them.
    So yeah this weekend its on!

  5. Aw, i love this post...i still remember that Mos pic from years ago.

    I like to have some 'me' time and dig into a really good book and sit on the balcony and just watch the people go by.

    I'd also happily to invite la petite coquine to do my dishes anytime!

  6. Does shopping count (lame I know)? I've come to enjoy grocery shopping listening to my ipod. It's gone from being a chore to something quite relaxing and escapist.

  7. i'm sure you've seen this but your post reminded me of it.

    i did not value alone time until my house was full of people... i love my family, but i do crave alone time and rarely get it. thanks for reminding me how important it is to carve out that time. to say YES to it.

  8. I am alone for about 10 hours a day. I work at home and my husband does not so it's usually very quiet here during the day. I absolutely love it. I meet a friend every other week for lunch and a movie and run the occasional errand but that's about it. If I have company for too long, I really miss my quiet time. I even go to the movies by myself sometimes. I was never like this before but now in my 40's it's good.
    I don't sit and eat in quiet but I do dance around my house quite frequently:)

  9. absolutely amazing advice. seriously, alone time is something i treasure. but I rarely turn off all distractions. you're reminding me to do just that. will add so much peace to my life.

  10. Love your advice about shwoign your body what its worth by what you put into it! Never thought of it that way and must do!

  11. this is adorable. i love!!! xo

  12. Adore this post! Yes, I will take myself on a date and buy myself some flowers. For me, the best thing I do is run. I love that feeling of discovering there's not a soul around me. Just me and the sunshine.

  13. This is seriously my favorite post ever! I am in LOVE with this idea, and am going to re-read this again tomorrow and come up with my list. You've truly inspired me!!!

    xo Marcie

  14. Cute post and wonderful pics!
    Follow me? I'll be very happy if you do it!
    Thank you so much!

  15. Morning! Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm so glad I found yours. I completely agree with this post. Ive always loved my own company and sometimes ive actually felt guilty about that, but really we shouldn't always have to be a social butterfly hey? x

  16. I love this idea. It's so true... I rarely if ever spend time truly alone with myself... but when I think back, I used to all the time. What happened?!

    I'm going to try this. Thank you for the inspiration.

  17. lovely lovely post. i'll usually lock myself in my room, put on my headphones, blast the music and imagine my own music video (or something like that). another thing i like doing is reading magazines and pretending i can have one thing off every page. it's fun! and i haven't done it in ages! thanks for reminding me that alone time is long overdue :)

  18. It's tough to get alone time with the kiddos but I try to at least for a few hours on the weekends! Thanks for the reminder of how good it is to be alone! Have a wonderful weekend! xx

  19. I say YES to this! Nothing better than doing something from you to you, to show some appreciation, hope you enjoy!

  20. I love this post! And I adore the beautiful, inspiring images that accompany it. I still haven't gone to the movies alone...I WILL do that this year! Have a wonderful weekend!

  21. YES I love being alone, this took my late 20's to figure out that 'alone time' was all about me and not feeling guilty for it. I like Sunday's because they are "me days" to do with as I please, cleanse? Perhaps.. a really good book, indeed. Listening to my meditation CD at night, a must. Going to the movies alone, love it. The list goes on.. thank you for liberating those that need 'permission' or a 'reason' to be alone the courage that its ok and accepted.

  22. loved loved loved this post! I'm taking a meditation workshop right now, and we have to meditate for 20 minutes a day, at least. It's amazing how hard it is to find the time and peace of mind to do it!



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