Monday, February 7, 2011

cookie lust

Dear Handsome Neighbor,


Yes, you're handsome. I know it and I also know you and most of Los Angeles knows it.  Living above you has taught me a lot. One, that you don't have a 'type' and two, that you're not into 'relationships'. There have been other informative things too like the fact that one can never really wear too many bracelets and that you don't have to shower everyday or even comb your hair in order for the opposite sex to find you irresistible.  Personal hygiene and fashion choices that I am reconsidering now having observed your late night success rate.  The constant stream of beautiful women you have coming out of your apartment is not only astounding, it's truly an accomplishment.  I mean really, you're like the pied piper of women... Although I initially assumed that I would find this blatantly offensive, it's actually become part of my morning routine. Wake up, make my morning cup of tea and observe the post coital exist strategy of your house guest 'du jour'.


Here's the deal, when I see you and smile and you happen to be around when I'm offering my other neighbors cookies, please don't get any ideas. When I offer you a cookie and say "these will be the best 'cookies' you've ever tasted", I really am referring to the cookies at hand. This isn't some kind of innuendo filled attempt to organize some late night, convenient rendezvous.  I'm just a smiley type of girl who needs people to consume the copious amounts of food I'm constantly making.  Even though the winking you've now added to our neighborly 'hello' is flattering (I suppose?), I'd prefer to remain on the outside of that fish bowl and continue to be an enthused observer.


thanks,
tash
Warning: These cookies may make your neighbors fall in lust with you. 
The Chirpy Bird's Chocolate Chip Cookie


Makes around 16 cookies
Preheat Oven 350


1 1/4 cups of all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt
1 stick of cold unsalted butter cut in pieces
1 3oz bar of Scharffen Berger Bittersweet Chocolate
1 3oz bar of Scharffen Berger Rich Milk Chocolate
1 egg
1//2 cup of granulated sugar
1/2 cup of packed dark brown sugar


Sift dry ingredients together and set aside. Chop chocolate into small chunks. Don't be perfect! One of the best parts about this cookie are the varying sizes of chocolate through out the cookie! In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, begin to mix half of the cold butter until smooth.  Add both sugars and continue to mix for around a minute. Add the remaining butter and blend together on medium speed for around 3 minutes. Turn down mixer and add egg. You will need to turn the mixer off every now and then and scrape bowl with spatula to ensure that the mixture is being brought together evenly.  Turn the mixer on low and add the flour mixture. Only allow the mixer to bring it together for around 15 seconds, you don't want to overwork the flour.  Add the chocolate by hand and mix with spatula.  Use around two tablespoons of dough and shape into a ball.  Leave around two inches between each cookie on your sheet. Place in preheated oven for around 12 minutes.


you're welcome!  ;)


xo

24 comments:

  1. Holy f'ing hell that was so funny Tash!!! What a stud! Good call Tash, dodge that bullet. Take your cookie and go sir!
    Cupcake
    xo
    (so funny!!)

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  2. Oh, I love it! Those cookies look fantastic. And he wishes he could have your "cookie". Sounds like you have an interesting neighbor.

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  3. oh my! yes, I would have to say he is one to stay away from. I got quite a giggle thing morning, thanks!
    xx
    callie

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  4. That was a great post - really made me smile. Printing cookie recipe too, which will probably make my husband smile :)

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  5. Cracking me up. This was too funny. Your neighbor sounds like a regular Duan Juan! The cookies look great, though.

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  6. This is a FABULOUS post! I'll be chuckling about this all morning! And the cookies look divine.

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  7. Live entertainment and free, you are so lucky! You are way too good for him and hell who knows what he's carrying! These cookies look amazing. Just not sure if hes worth them!

    Meg

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  8. This is one of the best posts I've read!!! Too funny and well written! I will be trying the cookies, but then again I do have an insatiable sweet tooth so any excuse will do! Happy Monday! xoxo

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  9. HAHA I love it - what an interesting little neighbor you have!!

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  10. I love this post and these cookies look delicious!

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  11. hahaha love this so much! my favorite line? "This isn't some kind of innuendo filled attempt to organize some late night, convenient rendezvous." priceless.

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  12. These are good looking cookies.

    windowshopz.com

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  13. haha! i love your letter. so funny. and those cookies do look amazing! i'll pass this recipe along to single gals who have cute, but more respectable neighbors. :)

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  14. ah ah this is so funny, I loved the letter
    Also I'm saving the cookies recipe (not because I want my neighbors to fall in love with me but because they look freakin good)
    New to your blog (and loving it) xx

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  15. lol Ok this is half between you reading my sisters thoughts, and half between the sex and the city movie with Sam and her Cali neighbor! love it!

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  16. haha this is a hilarious post! I'm dying to know who your hot neighbor is! These cookies sound amazing, I love mixing bittersweet chocolate and milk chocolate together. It's the perfect combination!

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  17. you are so flippin hilarious! love it~ and i need to try these cookies asap~

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  18. What a fantastic story! I bet he couldn't help himself with these cookies-they look irresistible!

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  19. These look so yummy!

    New to your blog- adore it! Following now and looking forward to reading more :) xoxo

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  20. Hahah..that is so sweet and so funny! I need to make those cookies asap:) Wish you a great day, darling
    Kisses

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  21. whatever, you can deny it all you want but he TOTALLY wants you! You are pretty and you cook --> Jackpot!

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